shrek is the god of self confidence

when you realize lord farquaad’s name is actually “fackwad”… or the actual word

(via ruinedchildhood)

his mom wants his gf to take care of him like a mother would

Recently, bearfriend’s stepdad and mom gave him a letter about how he was a failure in life, and in it, he listed me as a failure. 

He talked about how I didn’t have an apartment to my name, and that I wasn’t willing to live together with bearfriend. 

Here’s my 2 cents on the situation:

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*teacher hands you test*
“sorry I’m not interested”

A kid actually said this to me.

I said to her, “I’m not asking if you’re interested; I’m not a waiter and this isn’t a restaurant. This is a test and this is a class and you’re a student so you’re going to do it.”

She rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.

I said to her, “I feel no pity.”

Note: She’s one of those kids you know is gonna turn into a b-word when she grows up.

(via mnazal)